by: Devon Johnson

I had been in love with this boy since I was eleven years old. He was my best friend and over our 12 years of friendship, we had fallen in and out of love. He experienced many losses and I wanted to be his comfort. Fortunately, that comfort wasn’t mine to give, it was the Lord’s. Although my intentions seemed pure, I was blinded by my investment in liking him and trying to be everything for him. The Lord finally separated us, and I was devastated. Doesn’t God work all things together for good? Why had we been friends if things were meant to end? Instead of turning to the Lord, I became bitter towards the boy who hurt me.

When I finally decided to try and get over him, I didn’t know where to start. I was told by a wise woman who had seen me suffer (yeah, okay, it was my mom) that the first step was to forgive as Jesus forgave. I begged and pleaded with the Lord to help me forgive. It felt like a never-ending battle with the Lord. Every time I thought I was free from the bitterness I’d then think of him and struggle to choose freedom in the Lord’s grace.

Finally, I received another piece of wisdom from the same woman. “Have you tried praising the Lord for the good things that happen to him?” What an absurd thought. “Thanking the Lord and proclaiming His blessings over the boy is an opportunity to rejoice with Him and shift my mindset into praise instead of hurt.”

It was like a lightbulb had gone off. Anytime I thought about him I released the thought to the Lord and said, “Lord I bless him, and his family and I thank you for the way you have provided for him.” I chose to rejoice and praise the Lord for his exceeding goodness in the midst of my hurt. I felt physically lighter as I put forgiveness in action.

Jesus took our sins to the cross, putting action behind His words for eternal freedom. If we make a choice to walk in freedom, we need to put action behind it, to shift our mindset, and bring praise into His courts. His plans are infinitely better than our own. He is freedom. Bitterness has no place in His heart. I am so thankful that today I am able to experience His true freedom.